Opinion: Hoboken’s Attempt to Fix Water Main Break Goes Swimmingly Well

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In a shocking display of ineptitude, the City of Hoboken has once again failed to shut down a water main break caused by a PSE&G contractor who struck a water main at Observer Highway and Madison Street on Feb. 27. After more than 8 hours of trying, the City has apparently given up, as the water continues to gush into the streets.

As one resident put it, “I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like a giant water park, but without any slides or lifeguards.”

To add insult to injury, the City and Veolia have set up water buffalos (large water jugs) at seven locations throughout the City. However, the water buffalos are reportedly empty, leaving residents to fill their containers with air.

“I thought it was a joke at first,” said another resident. “But then I realized it was just the City’s way of telling us to go jump in a lake.”

Businesses without running water are also feeling the pinch, as they are required to remain closed per the Health Department. Meanwhile, businesses with running water are being encouraged to use it to their heart’s content, since it’s apparently not doing anyone else any good.

In a statement, the City said, “We apologize for the inconvenience, but we’re just not very good at this whole water thing. We’re hoping the rain will stop soon, so the water main break will fix itself.”

While it may seem like the City has finally made some progress, it’s important to remember that the water infrastructure in Hoboken is over 100 years old, and the blame game never stops. Some residents blame the City for not investing enough in upgrading the system, while others blame the contractor for hitting the water main in the first place.

As for the future, the City has plans to upgrade the water main infrastructure, but given their track record, it’s unlikely to happen anytime soon. In the meantime, residents are advised to continue avoiding southwest Hoboken and to stock up on as much drinking water as possible.

And if anyone has any ideas on how to fix a water main break, the City would love to hear from you. Just don’t expect them to actually do anything about it.